Sunday, December 5, 2010

LYING EFFICIENTLY

“Sorry ma’am, my grandfather is sick”, “Sir my car broke down”., are the normal lies that we usually hear everyday. But does it workout always?? NO. But why?


The less dependable lying signs are the ones on which we have most control, such as words, because we can rehearse it many times before the play. This is how most of the politicians and actors sound very convincing when they are lying. But if they are closely watched, it is easily predictable that they are lying. Most of the lies are caught by the gestures a person makes automatically, because they have a little control or no control over them. For example, Men and women both increase the number of gulps of saliva when lying, but this is usually noticed with men because of their enlarged Adam’s apple.

MOST COMMON LYING GESTURES
1.     THE MOUTH COVER: The hand covers the mouth as the brain instructs the body to suppress the non-supporting words that can be said. This gesture shows the opponent or the person you are lying to clearly that you are hiding something. The “shhhhh” gesture (finger’s placed vertically over the lips) is used as an attempt to tell themselves not to reveal the truth.
2.     THE NOSE TOUCH: This gesture can either be a several quick touch below the nose or one quick; women perform a softer nose touch than men, probably to avoid the smudging of their make-up.
3.     THE EYE RUB: This is the brain’s attempt to block out the unwanted or the useless things he sees, or to avoid having to look at the face of the person who is being lied to. Like nose touch, men do a vigorous eye rub than women, because women tend not to smudge their make-up.
4.     THE EAR GRAB: The ear grab is the symbol that is used by a person to signal that he has heard enough and wants to speak. The ear grab may be rubbing of ears, Finger Drill – where the fingertip screws back and forth inside the ear, pulling the ear lobes or bending the ear forward covering the ear hole. In Italy this ear grab, however, is used to indicate that someone is effeminate or a gay.
5.     THE NECK SCRATCH: The index finger scratches the side of the neck below the earlobe indicating a signal of doubt or uncertainty. The verbal version of this gesture is,” I’m not sure I agree”. It can be very obvious if the verbal language contradicts the gesture, like someone uses the gesture and tells, “I can understand how you feel”, but they don’t.
6.     COLLAR PULL: Desmond Morris was one of the first to discover that lies causes a tingling sensation to the soft skin of face and neck, and this is why we get an itchy feeling to satisfy it. This gives a good explanation as to why people use collar pull while lying and the suspect have been caught during the research.
7.     FINGERS- IN-THE-MOUTH: This gesture is an unconscious attempt by the person who feels under pressure. This gesture can be connected to lying as it is an outward indication of an inner need for reassurance thus giving guarantees and assurance.

Body language is easier to fake with men than with women because, overall, men aren’t good readers of body language. This also explains why women are better liars than men. Men do not notice the body language of women thus believing the words alone. The other reason is women tend to tell complicated lies than men.

Now, we know what are the gestures or body languages normally used while lying. But can we fake it? The general answer is a ‘NO’. There is a lack of congruence that I likely to occur between the main gestures, the body’s micro-signals and the spoken words. For example, open palms are always associated with honesty but when a faker, although, holds his palm open and gives a convincing smile, his micro signals contradict and gives some other signals that do not go with his open palm. The reader easily tends not to believe it. To add on, the body signals are connected to the verbal language. Thus when we tend to fake the gesture the verbal language does not coincide with his gesture and making it difficult for him to utter the lie clearly. The fakers can only pretend for a short period of time.

Source: The definitive book of body language by Allan+Barbara pease